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Thursday, September 22, 2005
I find myself lost between who I was and who I am.
I find myself looking back, wondering only for a moment if it was all really that bad...
Your thinking about her again...
I find myself alone again, thus being the reason for my emotional withdraw into my former behavour patterns.
Just like old times, in your room all alone. Up all hours of the night doing nothing really at all. Except now your really alone, with nobody to even talk to online.
I wish Leigh wasn't so far away. *sigh*
Friday, June 10, 2005
Help me my friends
Kai: Wisdom hides sometimes among the most obvious of choices
Whats that supposed to mean?
Xan: I think what Kai is trying to say, is that wisdom wants to be found, but still hides to make the search more, interesting
So your saying that the chioce is seemingly quite obvious?
Kai: more like, it sits masked in a line with other choices. Wisdom though, is the only one who will speak with a soft voice to your spirit
Xan: Though the darkness will wisper in a teasing manner, Wisdom like the wonder sweet tone of a womans voice
I fear deception
Xan: Just as many storys have told, fear leads down a pathway into darkness...fear is a tool the darkness uses to confuse us and make us pause and hesitate
Kai: Fear is the beast that devours the spirit
help me my friends, I'm lost.
Kai: Seek out the one who is Wisdom...
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Xan, I thought I created you to be evil...the bad guy so to speak...
Indeed, but remember...He died twice, once by the hand of your own Kai
your right, but, how does that manafest you here...now...like this?
Well, I guess you could say I was re-born, or more to the point re-created...no longer Xan the black, maybe Xan the Red..remember?
I remember now...I couldn't have Kai the White..
So, now here I am...
Your going to make me re-write the story arn't you...
thats not me anymore....but I do have my ideas...
...Creed...
He is more evil then I ever thought to be, he would make the perfect enemy
If I re-write his story, I change him...
indeed, but maybe...you take his story and move it over...
hmm, Xan you have always been the brains...
Kai will find this most intreaging
He will need help against Creed...Creed is out of his game there
well, maybe he'll just find some help from....the red...
maybe...
Sunday, November 14, 2004
Xan...what are you?
why ask such silly questions...you created me did you not?
You, used to be ...evil, the enemy. the Darkness whom was distroyed...
indeed, but without me there can be no Kai...
so you never where distroyed then...
not totaly...
Kai...where has he been...its almost as if he has died
same place I did...he will return in his own time...
you used to be so black...but you have become so...grey
evil isn't always so obvously black...
He will return, Kai will come and you will be laid to rest...
perhaps in time...but thats up to you, remember...this is your story.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Fear...
...it builds up inside like pain from the past as memories grow louder and louder as they scream YOU FAILED!
it can never be the same...am I worthy of such an honour as this?
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Kai walked out the front gates of his castle and looked up to the sky then looked all around, his little empty planet...his home
He remembered a time in his past, he wasn't very old, when this planet held life...there was a hole race of mages once and now..
he was the only one...
he remembered his father teaching him to cast the simplest spells, he remembered he and his brothers sparing in the training room....
he remembered the cold nights all alone in his room while growing up...he never liked being alone, not even a little bit...but he always seemed to end up alone, as if preparing him for something...
He remembered when he was a little older, before the great battle he was leading a group of scouts in the forests at the edge of Megos territory when suddenly he got seperated from his men...he remembered the fear that rose up inside of him...he had been alone for three weeks before he made it home from that...not once did a D'han mage find him but his men never made it....
Kai walked to the tree just outside the gates and sat
now, he had been alone for over two hundred years...the planet empty...devoid of life except for him...
he always hated being alone...even now
but, at the same time he always comes back here because this was his home...and he could never leave his home....
suddenly a portal opened in the air in front of him and a voice came from the other side...
"I've been looking all over for you...why do you always come back to this place?"...
TBC
Thursday, August 19, 2004
o my beautiful...how I miss you my friend. I miss many of you cut apart...plucked away...torn
I wasn't ready...a fruit not yet ripe but here I am, imperfect and weak...how wonderful it is to be weak and imperfect...but to be taken from...home, how can one bair the thought? How can the heart of a warrior fall on such a place? Call anything other then the battle fields his home...the cry of the warrior, Lord give me that heart...the heart of the warrior. Let my home be not back in the camp for it is mearly a place to rest and train....but we live our lives one battle at a time...our home is the blood stained fields, our friends are the sword in our hands...marching...
though the valley of the shadow of death...
knee deep in the dead....
lest we could rise them into life once again...
steal them back from the forces that haunt this world...
my home, the battle's delight...
